Tuesday, February 3, 2015

#13: Negative People & How to Handle Them


There seem to be quite a few people struggling right now with how to handle negative people in their lives. Whether it is a loved one, a friend or a co-worker, those of us with a “glass half full” attitude, and especially those who are struggling to rewire their brains to maintain a positive, optimistic attitude, will always have to confront a serious issue with someone that leans towards to the glass being half empty. This is a test of your resolve and the more bonded you are emotionally to the person in your life that is providing you with this test, the more important the lessons are that can be learned.

An important thing for “glass half full” people to remember is that you’ve been studying for this test and you’ve learned what you need to learn in order to pass this test. You are prepared and this is just another obstacle for you to overcome in your own spiritual development and it is the same for the “glass half empty” person that you are being confronted with – This is a test for them too. If you are a supporter of the idea that we choose the souls we want to interact with in our lives before we are born, then whatever difficult situation you are facing with another person is something that you agreed to do to help each other.

Another very important thing to remember is that people are a product of their experiences – the more negative a person is, the more difficult their experiences have been for them. The more horrible a person is to another person, the more damaged they are emotionally on the inside. If you are an awakened and self-aware individual, you have the ability to see beyond your human ego and recognize your true, higher self – You know you are a spiritual being having a human experience here on Earth. In most cases, “glass half empty” people are not awakened and they are not self aware. There are negative people who are awakened and aware, but the difference is that they KNOW why, or are trying to figure out why, they have the negative attitude and will do their best to not let their negative energy have a negative effect on someone else.  

The MOST important thing to remember is that people behave the way they do because of how they feel about themselves. Very deep down in the core of our soul and spirit, we all know that we are FREE and spiritual beings and that we are all connected through the divine source consciousness. Very deep down, every human being knows that our bodies are highly advanced suits that allow us to live on this planet in this plane. Like astronauts in space, we need these bodies to have the experience of life on Earth like they need their space suits to survive the environment beyond our planet’s atmosphere. If you support the idea that we choose the people in our life before we are born, then you probably support the idea that we all have a purpose for being here.

Sometimes, the only purpose a negative person has in your life is to help you see more reasons to be positive instead and nothing more. You will encounter these with the “casual” relationships you have – friendships, co-workers, mutual acquaintances, etc. Once you learn this lesson, it’s best to detach yourself from this person and it can be done easily by being open and honest with the person and/or people involved. Help the other person as much as you can, but if and when you start to feel like a broken record repeating the same things over and over again, it’s time to let go of this person and let them continue on with their personal journey. They obviously do not want or need any more of your help and the longer you expose yourself to their negativity, the more attached you will become to it and it will drag you down. When you feel that you’ve learned all you can from a casual relationship and/or when these soul connections start to make you feel like you’re becoming someone you are not – It’s time to let go. Be honest, be open, be firm, but be gentle with your words and choose them carefully.

If you cannot so easily detach yourself, for instance, if you cannot transfer to a different department, or avoid hanging out with a certain person, remember this: YOU control how you feel, not other people. If someone is bringing you down, don’t let them! These “energy vampires” attach themselves to awakened and aware people because subconsciously they sense the positive energy and it attracts them. They “feed” off of your good vibes by bringing you down and when you’re on their level, they try to keep you there because misery DOES love company. They will do whatever it takes to keep their energy source around, including showing off a false positive attitude if they sense you’re about to remove yourself from the situation.

Unfortunately for them, the “casual” energy vampires you encounter will not be influenced to awaken by your interactions with them – they exist in YOUR life for the sole purpose of being an obstacle for YOU. This is not to say that your influence will not have an impact, just don’t waste a lot of time trying to help these people because they are very, very deeply asleep and they don’t want to wake up because waking up is difficult and they are not ready to face the shadow of themselves that their human ego projects as their “self”.

Everyone knows what they are on the inside and they know what kind of illusion they are projecting as their self and the more that illusion conflicts with their true self, the more negative they become. Some people are meant to become negative – without them, we could not become positive people and their sacrifice is very great because it is very damaging to the soul and spirit.

At this point, I will remind once again that ultimately, we are all one. There is no separation – there is no “self”. Being human on Earth is to live in the creation of the illusion of separation for the purpose of the evolution of the infinite, divine source consciousness – we are all aspects of the universe experiencing itself and the universe wants to experience all kinds of being in order understand itself. I am you, you are me - we are one. 


This brings us to conflicts with negative people that have closer ties and deeper connections with us - Spouses, parents, children, other family members and very close friends and loved one. The more you care about and love someone, the harder it is to deal with a negative attitude and outlook on life from them. Trust me. I know. You can’t just “let it go” and your desire to help them through a difficult time is very great. Trust me. I know. It hurts to watch someone self-destruct and feel so helpless. When your loved ones and close friends, (or anyone really), lash out at you when you’re trying to help it’s important to remember a couple of things.

They are not attacking you. They are attacking themselves through you. If you are awakened and self-aware, you know who you are and no matter what personal insults get thrown at you remember to be strong. Remain calm, pay attention to the other person, choose your words carefully, (I wouldn’t say much if I were you), and just ride the wave to the shore. Eventually they will get tired, because being so negative is very physically exhausting, and they will reveal what you need to know to understand the situation from both their perspective and your own if you are “present” for the experience by remaining in the moment through your awareness of it.

Try to end these encounters with a hug, but do not absorb their negative energy – that is not a productive and healthy way to help someone. They created their negative energy and their attitude is theirs to maintain. It is not your responsibility to “take away” their pain and frustration – to do that is to deny them of the lesson they are meant to learn through their negativity. It sounds cold and selfish, but in the end, it will only drain you both of the good energy you need moving forward. Be supportive, but don’t dampen your own energy field to do it. They need you to be your super strong, bright and shiny self right now, but…

Sometimes, your positive attitude is only going to make matters worse. Ridiculous, I know, but sometimes people just don’t want to hear it. They don’t want your optimism, they don’t want you to make them feel better and they don’t want to hear the truth. Sometimes, they don’t want you around because you are a constant reminder of how they WANT to be, but for some reason cannot be. We all see reflections of ourselves in others, that is what the people in our lives are meant to be – a reflection of an aspect of our self that we need to see in order to be who we are meant to be and do what we are meant to do.

The freedom and attitude towards life that is gained through awakening carries with it a huge change in your energy vibration and other people can feel it and it can be very over-powering and intense if they are not ready to feel that within themselves. In this situation, it’s best to give the other person as much space to experience their emotions as you can and let THEM approach YOU for more than a casual conversation. Don’t ignore the problem, but don’t let it evolve into a bigger issue by forcing the person to look at it through a microscope all the time. Be patient, be kind, be compassionate – be love and only love. Do not be anger and frustration. Do not be resentment and fear. Be love and only love.

These are just my ideas and opinions that I’ve assembled and gained through experience and observation. I will always say that I am no spiritual guru and to use discernment when reading what I write – take from my words what feels “right” to you and toss out the rest. And BE THE LOVE!

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